Yesterday was a tough day.
The morning started off great, but then come the afternoon with an overtired new baby and a whinging toddler it all got too much for me.
Once I finally had the baby down, the toddler needed a nappy change and whilst struggling to control him on the changing table and after numerous threats, he kicked me square in the face, full force. In a flash of rage I lashed out and skelped him on his bare leg, it was a complete chain reaction and within a split second, the damage was done. He had red finger marks on his porcelain skin, his tears came flowing and my nerves unraveled. I put on his fresh nappy, dressed him, went into the bathroom, closed the door and proceeded to rinse off his dirty cloth nappy. All the while he cried outside and woke up his sister.
When I came out of the bathroom we gave each other a hug and I wiped his tears, I picked up his dinosaurs and handed them to him and while he made his way downstairs I wearily made my way into my bedroom to soothe Juno back to sleep.
The afternoon consisted of the toddler playing outside, a visit from a lovely lady to collect some baby clothes and Juno waking up screaming every 20 minutes. Ross came home at 5 and honestly the rest of the evening is such a blur.
I was physically, mentally and emotionally drained.
I gave up trying to soothe Juno at 7.30/8. Ross was downstairs washing up after leaving Finn happily playing away with his dinosaurs in bed.
I went outside to take in some laundry whilst Ross went to try and put Juno to sleep.
I cried, I couldn’t help it, the tears just kept coming. I felt like I’d failed at parenting that day.
But… There’s only so many hours you can tolerate being cried at before it breaks you…
Ross managed to get her off to sleep, he held me tight and told me to cry as much as I needed. He told me I was doing a fantastic job and that our toddler practically put himself to bed. So I cried…
Yesterday was a tough day, but tomorrow will be better…